It has just been three years I have become part of a corporate culture. I am not exactly proud to say that even I have started to play along the practical games played in a large organisation. This realisation came to me just today, when i was 'sermoning' a guy from another department about the skills required for effective management. I realised that I was speaking as if I was nothing less than Jack Welch or Henry Ford. I barely have a experience that can be called management in the true sense. I am a coordinator for ISO 9001, a Quality Management System ,being implemented in Claims Department of my company and hence get regular occasions to give preach in front of hapless people. To jettison some amount of the guilt feeling accumulated, i have decided to reveal some of the most effective bluffing techniques I have acquired.
Use 'flashy' jargon
There is an old quote which goes as 'Keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if you are a fool, rather than opening it and dispel their doubts'. Well, I have found it useful that using jargon and abbreviations as if they were basic concepts of daily work, makes people around you very curious. Explaining them in a non understandable way is like the cherrie on a pie. Maintaining the image of 'I-KNOW-IT-ALL' image is both science and an art.
Link it with either pyschology or 'Senior management' methodology
Lets face it, only a neglible percentage of ordinary people really understand how senior mangement works. Only a tiny fraction of such people have a fair idea about what pyschology is or how it works. The easiest method of explaining the 'messup' found around, is to link them with human pyschology or the fashion in which senior management works. It pays to do this not only because it is easy & simple but also because very few people have the understanding to refute your arguments.
'Always look busy with work' and 'Always carry a paper & pen'
I came across this tip from a email about 'modern day office etiquette' few years back. The explanation is pretty simple, if you appear relaxed you might be given additional work as you seem to have no workload. If you carry a paper n pen, then it is assumed that you working on some task even though you are doing nothing.
The above list of 'pretensions' is just a tiny drop in the ocean. In no way I mean to suggest that they are the shortcuts to success. Infact, they are silly ways to avoid work and gain any useful experience. To really succeed you need loads of merit, skill, determination and whole lot of other things. The point I am trying to make here is that being righteous is not always the right way to surive in one's life. Every game has some kind of 'cheat codes' and the sooner you learn such things the better it is. You can use them for your defence if not as offence. Somehow, revealing these little dirty secrets makes me feel better.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Inscrutable Bosses
It gives immense pleasure to say that the title of my article is “The Inscrutable Bosses” and is directly borrowed from the best seller book titled ‘The Inscrutable Americans’. I have come a long way from the time when I read such thought provoking books and be lost in the train of thoughts all night ; to the current where I am appreciated in my own little circle of loyal readers and encouraged to write more frequently. The comparisons with Chetan Bhagat are extremely flattering and are absolutely welcome!
Ok, now that I have finished stroking my ego, I will come to the purpose of this article. I could not help but notice the striking similarity between the mysterious behavior of most Bosses and the American behavior mentioned in the above book; so I lifted the title without any second thought.
I have no intention to take a dig at the eccentricities of a modern day boss, especially when I have been thrust a “boss” tag recently. This is just to voice the thoughts that come in an ordinary employee’s mind when he is working late in the night and stumbles upon the empty chair of his boss. The loneliness at such moments gets compounded when he starts to hear the echo of his own keyboard taps, whereas the boss would be engaged in ‘unmentionable’ activities at home. Provided that our memories are strong, we all would remember passing through such experiences. With due to respect all the brilliant bosses I had, I want to present the other side of the Management coin. To put that in a corporate lingo, I am going to list down the “Difference of Opinions” in a “Constructive and Productive” manner.
Learning curve Vs Art of delegation
Often disproportionate work gets thrust upon one, when it is expected the least. The results of such circumstances vary from a key of a gold treasury to sudden death. If you resist the work you are considered unreliable; if you take up and fail to do it properly, you are not up to the mark; if you take up the task and do it well, the boss is to be praised for knowing the potential in you & promoting talent.
Proactiveness Vs Empowering the team
It is said that the modern day boss expect their 25 year old employee to possess the athletic nature of 20 year old, expertise of a 40 year old and the maturity of a 60 year old. You are expected to learn things proactively and once you really become proactive, kudos to your boss for empowering you. After all how else who would provide you the career growth plan.
Meeting the expectations Vs Unleashing the performers
It is next to impossible to satisfy the expectation of a greedy boss. Accomplishing tasks within impossible deadline, with best-in-class quality and with little or no guidance from the ‘big guys’ is considered as a norm. Just in case you have been lucky to achieve the above, your boss is a genius who unleashes the performers for the organizational benefit.
Unlike the above list, my blog can not extend for infinity. Since I would have already quite a few eyebrows, it is better that I wrap the subject with a note of thanks to everyone who have provided with spicy inputs about their daily work.
Ok, now that I have finished stroking my ego, I will come to the purpose of this article. I could not help but notice the striking similarity between the mysterious behavior of most Bosses and the American behavior mentioned in the above book; so I lifted the title without any second thought.
I have no intention to take a dig at the eccentricities of a modern day boss, especially when I have been thrust a “boss” tag recently. This is just to voice the thoughts that come in an ordinary employee’s mind when he is working late in the night and stumbles upon the empty chair of his boss. The loneliness at such moments gets compounded when he starts to hear the echo of his own keyboard taps, whereas the boss would be engaged in ‘unmentionable’ activities at home. Provided that our memories are strong, we all would remember passing through such experiences. With due to respect all the brilliant bosses I had, I want to present the other side of the Management coin. To put that in a corporate lingo, I am going to list down the “Difference of Opinions” in a “Constructive and Productive” manner.
Learning curve Vs Art of delegation
Often disproportionate work gets thrust upon one, when it is expected the least. The results of such circumstances vary from a key of a gold treasury to sudden death. If you resist the work you are considered unreliable; if you take up and fail to do it properly, you are not up to the mark; if you take up the task and do it well, the boss is to be praised for knowing the potential in you & promoting talent.
Proactiveness Vs Empowering the team
It is said that the modern day boss expect their 25 year old employee to possess the athletic nature of 20 year old, expertise of a 40 year old and the maturity of a 60 year old. You are expected to learn things proactively and once you really become proactive, kudos to your boss for empowering you. After all how else who would provide you the career growth plan.
Meeting the expectations Vs Unleashing the performers
It is next to impossible to satisfy the expectation of a greedy boss. Accomplishing tasks within impossible deadline, with best-in-class quality and with little or no guidance from the ‘big guys’ is considered as a norm. Just in case you have been lucky to achieve the above, your boss is a genius who unleashes the performers for the organizational benefit.
Unlike the above list, my blog can not extend for infinity. Since I would have already quite a few eyebrows, it is better that I wrap the subject with a note of thanks to everyone who have provided with spicy inputs about their daily work.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
इकोनोमी स्लोव्दोवं - मेरी analysis
At its best, my understanding of economics is nill. Yet i feel compelled to share my thoughts on the economic slowdown. So i decided to write about it from my point of view.
let me start with Jagat, a colleague in office..somehow he seems to understand the entire crisis so well n describes it articulately....His jargon seems so perfect that i feel like asking him to step up as a president of the world n save us from this crisis....The punk has a lot of serious stuff inside him n i m sure one day he vld do something really gr8 for the country....I feel jittery after hearing him speak......
Then there is Manjunat & Nagesh....Both of them are too mature for their age.....Their calmness makes me wonder if they know the current crises as well as its solution....They have an expression 'grow up kid...and learn to deal with this crisis'.....I feel inferior after talking to them on this topic
Then...there is the owner of the small cafe in my office...dont be fooled by the name 'CAFE'...it is just an enlarged version of a roadside hut.....Anywz coming back to the topic.....this stupid hotel is always crowded......the food isnt that great....nor is the hygiene or service.....the fact that people are flocking in huge numbers gives me a assurance that there is no slowdown......dont ask me how this cafe can be taken as an representative for an entire country.....I just want to believe that things are alright n this cafe gives me some kind of assurance.....that's it.....
Being a couch potato , i love watching TV....but these days the news people have just one thing to tell......layoffs, more layoffs and some more layoffs....This is followed by the sensex analysis.....n i m totally depressed.....These things are the last nail in the coffin.....
Finally, talking to my dad (a Insurance industry veteran with more than 33 yrs of work experience)i just have one thought in my mind..."WHY GOD WHY.....WHY DOES IT HAPPEN TO ME ALL THE TIME ......I M YET TO MAKE GOOD MONEY IN LIFE.....WHY THE HECK THIS RECESSION CAME UP NOW".....
The above paragraphs describes pretty much the perception i have bou the slowdown.....My only fear is that is this thing goes on and on...i vld someday be deprived of my favorite burgers n pizzas.....Ya that right ....I fear the most that i might be deprived of the tasty burger from Burger king n Mc Donalds.....There is no point in surviving without them.....No i m nt being childish......This is the thing which i really fear.....
let me start with Jagat, a colleague in office..somehow he seems to understand the entire crisis so well n describes it articulately....His jargon seems so perfect that i feel like asking him to step up as a president of the world n save us from this crisis....The punk has a lot of serious stuff inside him n i m sure one day he vld do something really gr8 for the country....I feel jittery after hearing him speak......
Then there is Manjunat & Nagesh....Both of them are too mature for their age.....Their calmness makes me wonder if they know the current crises as well as its solution....They have an expression 'grow up kid...and learn to deal with this crisis'.....I feel inferior after talking to them on this topic
Then...there is the owner of the small cafe in my office...dont be fooled by the name 'CAFE'...it is just an enlarged version of a roadside hut.....Anywz coming back to the topic.....this stupid hotel is always crowded......the food isnt that great....nor is the hygiene or service.....the fact that people are flocking in huge numbers gives me a assurance that there is no slowdown......dont ask me how this cafe can be taken as an representative for an entire country.....I just want to believe that things are alright n this cafe gives me some kind of assurance.....that's it.....
Being a couch potato , i love watching TV....but these days the news people have just one thing to tell......layoffs, more layoffs and some more layoffs....This is followed by the sensex analysis.....n i m totally depressed.....These things are the last nail in the coffin.....
Finally, talking to my dad (a Insurance industry veteran with more than 33 yrs of work experience)i just have one thought in my mind..."WHY GOD WHY.....WHY DOES IT HAPPEN TO ME ALL THE TIME ......I M YET TO MAKE GOOD MONEY IN LIFE.....WHY THE HECK THIS RECESSION CAME UP NOW".....
The above paragraphs describes pretty much the perception i have bou the slowdown.....My only fear is that is this thing goes on and on...i vld someday be deprived of my favorite burgers n pizzas.....Ya that right ....I fear the most that i might be deprived of the tasty burger from Burger king n Mc Donalds.....There is no point in surviving without them.....No i m nt being childish......This is the thing which i really fear.....
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Seventeen-Inch World
Seventeen-Inch World
I vividly remember the childhood time when my father used to take me to the busiest markets in the city. For most this should have been one of the happiest moments, but not for me.
Being short I had to hold his hand all the time and struggled to match his pace. The oncoming people somehow could never spot me and their belongings smashed right into my face with military precision. As years passed on, I was allowed to walk on my own and I had grown taller so the punching also came down. Rather than feeling sorry I used to get a feeling of vengeance if I accidentally happened to dash some kid in a crowd.
As years passed, the memories of the local market faded away with career taking precedence over everything in life. Recently on being persuaded I agreed to accompany my mother to buy groceries from a local market on a lazy Sunday.
Within minutes of stepping in the market, I was amused to see my mother a perennial miser, arguing furiously with a hawker like it was a matter of life and death. The entire hullabaloo was just for being charged a rupee more on a kilo of potatoes. I could not help but wonder about the stark difference between her and myself. I usually ensure that I squander a few hundred rupees in a multiplex just to feel cool whereas my mother was hell bent on squeezing out the last penny out of the poor guy.
I couldn’t help but grinning in the middle of the road glancing at the vendor. Suddenly came the
Deep voice, "This module isn’t working...Oh my God, this module isn’t working". With my dazed eyes, I had a second look and tried to make sense of what I just heard. The contorted face started to get familiar with each passing milli-second. It was my manager.
The heat from his red-hot face instantly vaporized all the train of thoughts and in a jiffy I immersed myself in the seventeen-inch world, otherwise called as a Computer Monitor. I had spent the entire the night thinking about the market and how it was a vital part of my life without even realizing it. Life of a software engineer is not that easy after all.
I vividly remember the childhood time when my father used to take me to the busiest markets in the city. For most this should have been one of the happiest moments, but not for me.
Being short I had to hold his hand all the time and struggled to match his pace. The oncoming people somehow could never spot me and their belongings smashed right into my face with military precision. As years passed on, I was allowed to walk on my own and I had grown taller so the punching also came down. Rather than feeling sorry I used to get a feeling of vengeance if I accidentally happened to dash some kid in a crowd.
As years passed, the memories of the local market faded away with career taking precedence over everything in life. Recently on being persuaded I agreed to accompany my mother to buy groceries from a local market on a lazy Sunday.
Within minutes of stepping in the market, I was amused to see my mother a perennial miser, arguing furiously with a hawker like it was a matter of life and death. The entire hullabaloo was just for being charged a rupee more on a kilo of potatoes. I could not help but wonder about the stark difference between her and myself. I usually ensure that I squander a few hundred rupees in a multiplex just to feel cool whereas my mother was hell bent on squeezing out the last penny out of the poor guy.
I couldn’t help but grinning in the middle of the road glancing at the vendor. Suddenly came the
Deep voice, "This module isn’t working...Oh my God, this module isn’t working". With my dazed eyes, I had a second look and tried to make sense of what I just heard. The contorted face started to get familiar with each passing milli-second. It was my manager.
The heat from his red-hot face instantly vaporized all the train of thoughts and in a jiffy I immersed myself in the seventeen-inch world, otherwise called as a Computer Monitor. I had spent the entire the night thinking about the market and how it was a vital part of my life without even realizing it. Life of a software engineer is not that easy after all.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Anonymity - the subtle shades
The case of John Sculley is studied at most of the top business schools to understand the expectations of a modern day business world.....I know that not many of you would recognise this name leave alone know what his achievements were....Clues like Pepsi and Apple related might ring a bell for some....In MBA parlance this would be called as possessing a "dying star's" brand value and is a proof of the overshadowing power of modern day advertising......The people behind the products, advertisement and brand builders are barely known to the man on the streets, so there is no question of forgetting them at a later stage.
Ok, no further beating around the bush.....John sculley was the man behind the Pepsi's campaign of 'blindfold Cola taste' to grab the market share from its rival Coca Cola...At one point of time , he was in line to become the CEO of this global giant ,when he suddenly left and joined Apple...At that point of time, Apple was a tiny blip in the corporate radar......He was the CEO and responsible for Corporate affairs while the eccentric Steve Jobs looked after technical innovations of the company....It was under his regime that Apple was able to ship flagship products like imac, Mac OS and other hardware....
Now I come to my agenda of this article...How come people instantly identify Pepsi, Apple or Steve Jobs but fail to know the critical people like John Sculley, who are the brains behind their modern day success ???? The answer is simple- we all adore our onscreen heroes and try to mimic their heroics.....Sadly, the concepts of heroes is not as simple as Hollywood would want us to believe.....It would be nice to have a real life Rambo destroying the armies of thousands with his bare fists and bulging biceps...It would be nice to have people who just take a bullet when it is raining bombs in the area...
It is important to note that there is a big difference between doing great work anonymously and playing second fiddle just because one is afraid of taking up charges...The difference lies in the amount of publicity one attracts to their tasks...Introvert people prefer to do their work and let their work speak for themselves...Some people understand the criticality of balance between their work and Public relation skills....The third category is abound with people who are famous because they popular and popular because they are famous...The have no good reason to be in the limelight and feel that they wont survive if they do not have people's attention....
Even the most extrovert people have something to hide...All of us have dirty linen and a reputation to live up to, so does this hiding constitute Anonymity....I'll leave this to the psychology guys to debate, but in my opinion it does to a certain extent.....So what extent of anyonymity is suitable....I guess everyone has to answer for himself...
I'll touch the point of playing second fiddle once more, but in a different light. People standing in the line of the fire have to face the firing, but the people just behind them have a strategical advantage. On survival, they taste victory and even on losing they get martyrdom and don't have to share the blame.....These 'backseat drivers' possess a enviable options but at the cost of compromising their ethics.....
In the corporate world, the top dogs get to take the decisions and have to bear the responsibility...The ordinary rung is spared of these catch 22 situations and can catch sleep at night.....
As the catchy line of Spiderman movie goes "With great power comes great responsibility"...I guess , it should be absolutely fine to have a combination of average power, moderate responsibility and a happy life.....Alas ! It is the inherent nature of humans to ask for more without paying more
Monday, August 4, 2008
Is it justified that heroes take it all ?
History says that Neil Armstrong was the first man to set foot on moon...With that he entered the immortal books of history......The whole world is full of praises for him.....'one small human step and a giant leap for mankind' is taught to every kid in their school...Now this where people like me raise questions which are uncomfortable but are true.....Even before listening , people jump to the conclusions that any opinion contrary to the generally agreed facts is Illegal or immoral...Read the next few paragraphs with open mind and you will see what I am trying to say.
What about the thousands of engineers and ground crew who made this mission possible ? How many of us can imagine the pressure some of the young guys had to tolerate ? Let me help you with this....The country of your president asks you to do wonder science...All of us bend over backwards to please our bosses or teachers when given a task....Now imagine the order coming from the president of a super-power nation....It goes without saying that most of the NASA guys at that time would have given up personal life completely.....
They put their soul and blood into it...and one fine day bunch of elite people touch the moon , utter jack wayne style dialogues, schmooze with world media and come back home............What bou the not so glamorous people involved in this project ??? Most of them would be nerds who just see the technical aspect of this entire thing ? Probably, they would be happy to compute the angular velocity of the shuttle in less than 5 minutes when it was 30 thousand feet above ground ....The computer would do this in a nanosecond anyways...
The point is that they are rendered to the technicality and are totally unaware of the other aspects of these kind of success.....JFK took the credit for putting man on the man, Armstrong took the credit for stepping on the man...Why would anyone remember the name of the engineer who designed the ignition switch or the reinforced glass window....This guy might have lost his 5 years sleep, his wife and kids etc etc doing this crucial thing......The point here is that we need people who dont ask credit for their work and yet to do the best work....The cream floats on top of the liquid ...Similarly the world thrives on mediocre and self-effacing people....I am not going to preach as to where one should be in such situation.....I have made my choice, now it is upto you....
What about the thousands of engineers and ground crew who made this mission possible ? How many of us can imagine the pressure some of the young guys had to tolerate ? Let me help you with this....The country of your president asks you to do wonder science...All of us bend over backwards to please our bosses or teachers when given a task....Now imagine the order coming from the president of a super-power nation....It goes without saying that most of the NASA guys at that time would have given up personal life completely.....
They put their soul and blood into it...and one fine day bunch of elite people touch the moon , utter jack wayne style dialogues, schmooze with world media and come back home............What bou the not so glamorous people involved in this project ??? Most of them would be nerds who just see the technical aspect of this entire thing ? Probably, they would be happy to compute the angular velocity of the shuttle in less than 5 minutes when it was 30 thousand feet above ground ....The computer would do this in a nanosecond anyways...
The point is that they are rendered to the technicality and are totally unaware of the other aspects of these kind of success.....JFK took the credit for putting man on the man, Armstrong took the credit for stepping on the man...Why would anyone remember the name of the engineer who designed the ignition switch or the reinforced glass window....This guy might have lost his 5 years sleep, his wife and kids etc etc doing this crucial thing......The point here is that we need people who dont ask credit for their work and yet to do the best work....The cream floats on top of the liquid ...Similarly the world thrives on mediocre and self-effacing people....I am not going to preach as to where one should be in such situation.....I have made my choice, now it is upto you....
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