Corporate culture or "Bol-bacchan"

It has just been three years I have become part of a corporate culture. I am not exactly proud to say that even I have started to play along the practical games played in a large organisation. This realisation came to me just today, when i was 'sermoning' a guy from another department about the skills required for effective management. I realised that I was speaking as if I was nothing less than Jack Welch or Henry Ford. I barely have a experience that can be called management in the true sense. I am a coordinator for ISO 9001, a Quality Management System ,being implemented in Claims Department of my company and hence get regular occasions to give preach in front of hapless people. To jettison some amount of the guilt feeling accumulated, i have decided to reveal some of the most effective bluffing techniques I have acquired.

Use 'flashy' jargon

There is an old quote which goes as 'Keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if you are a fool, rather than opening it and dispel their doubts'. Well, I have found it useful that using jargon and abbreviations as if they were basic concepts of daily work, makes people around you very curious. Explaining them in a non understandable way is like the cherrie on a pie. Maintaining the image of 'I-KNOW-IT-ALL' image is both science and an art.

Link it with either pyschology or 'Senior management' methodology

Lets face it, only a neglible percentage of ordinary people really understand how senior mangement works. Only a tiny fraction of such people have a fair idea about what pyschology is or how it works. The easiest method of explaining the 'messup' found around, is to link them with human pyschology or the fashion in which senior management works. It pays to do this not only because it is easy & simple but also because very few people have the understanding to refute your arguments.

'Always look busy with work' and 'Always carry a paper & pen'

I came across this tip from a email about 'modern day office etiquette' few years back. The explanation is pretty simple, if you appear relaxed you might be given additional work as you seem to have no workload. If you carry a paper n pen, then it is assumed that you working on some task even though you are doing nothing.


The above list of 'pretensions' is just a tiny drop in the ocean. In no way I mean to suggest that they are the shortcuts to success. Infact, they are silly ways to avoid work and gain any useful experience. To really succeed you need loads of merit, skill, determination and whole lot of other things. The point I am trying to make here is that being righteous is not always the right way to surive in one's life. Every game has some kind of 'cheat codes' and the sooner you learn such things the better it is. You can use them for your defence if not as offence. Somehow, revealing these little dirty secrets makes me feel better.