Corporate culture or "Bol-bacchan"

It has just been three years I have become part of a corporate culture. I am not exactly proud to say that even I have started to play along the practical games played in a large organisation. This realisation came to me just today, when i was 'sermoning' a guy from another department about the skills required for effective management. I realised that I was speaking as if I was nothing less than Jack Welch or Henry Ford. I barely have a experience that can be called management in the true sense. I am a coordinator for ISO 9001, a Quality Management System ,being implemented in Claims Department of my company and hence get regular occasions to give preach in front of hapless people. To jettison some amount of the guilt feeling accumulated, i have decided to reveal some of the most effective bluffing techniques I have acquired.

Use 'flashy' jargon

There is an old quote which goes as 'Keep your mouth shut and let people wonder if you are a fool, rather than opening it and dispel their doubts'. Well, I have found it useful that using jargon and abbreviations as if they were basic concepts of daily work, makes people around you very curious. Explaining them in a non understandable way is like the cherrie on a pie. Maintaining the image of 'I-KNOW-IT-ALL' image is both science and an art.

Link it with either pyschology or 'Senior management' methodology

Lets face it, only a neglible percentage of ordinary people really understand how senior mangement works. Only a tiny fraction of such people have a fair idea about what pyschology is or how it works. The easiest method of explaining the 'messup' found around, is to link them with human pyschology or the fashion in which senior management works. It pays to do this not only because it is easy & simple but also because very few people have the understanding to refute your arguments.

'Always look busy with work' and 'Always carry a paper & pen'

I came across this tip from a email about 'modern day office etiquette' few years back. The explanation is pretty simple, if you appear relaxed you might be given additional work as you seem to have no workload. If you carry a paper n pen, then it is assumed that you working on some task even though you are doing nothing.


The above list of 'pretensions' is just a tiny drop in the ocean. In no way I mean to suggest that they are the shortcuts to success. Infact, they are silly ways to avoid work and gain any useful experience. To really succeed you need loads of merit, skill, determination and whole lot of other things. The point I am trying to make here is that being righteous is not always the right way to surive in one's life. Every game has some kind of 'cheat codes' and the sooner you learn such things the better it is. You can use them for your defence if not as offence. Somehow, revealing these little dirty secrets makes me feel better.

The Inscrutable Bosses

It gives immense pleasure to say that the title of my article is “The Inscrutable Bosses” and is directly borrowed from the best seller book titled ‘The Inscrutable Americans’. I have come a long way from the time when I read such thought provoking books and be lost in the train of thoughts all night ; to the current where I am appreciated in my own little circle of loyal readers and encouraged to write more frequently. The comparisons with Chetan Bhagat are extremely flattering and are absolutely welcome!

Ok, now that I have finished stroking my ego, I will come to the purpose of this article. I could not help but notice the striking similarity between the mysterious behavior of most Bosses and the American behavior mentioned in the above book; so I lifted the title without any second thought.

I have no intention to take a dig at the eccentricities of a modern day boss, especially when I have been thrust a “boss” tag recently. This is just to voice the thoughts that come in an ordinary employee’s mind when he is working late in the night and stumbles upon the empty chair of his boss. The loneliness at such moments gets compounded when he starts to hear the echo of his own keyboard taps, whereas the boss would be engaged in ‘unmentionable’ activities at home. Provided that our memories are strong, we all would remember passing through such experiences. With due to respect all the brilliant bosses I had, I want to present the other side of the Management coin. To put that in a corporate lingo, I am going to list down the “Difference of Opinions” in a “Constructive and Productive” manner.

Learning curve Vs Art of delegation
Often disproportionate work gets thrust upon one, when it is expected the least. The results of such circumstances vary from a key of a gold treasury to sudden death. If you resist the work you are considered unreliable; if you take up and fail to do it properly, you are not up to the mark; if you take up the task and do it well, the boss is to be praised for knowing the potential in you & promoting talent.

Proactiveness Vs Empowering the team
It is said that the modern day boss expect their 25 year old employee to possess the athletic nature of 20 year old, expertise of a 40 year old and the maturity of a 60 year old. You are expected to learn things proactively and once you really become proactive, kudos to your boss for empowering you. After all how else who would provide you the career growth plan.

Meeting the expectations Vs Unleashing the performers
It is next to impossible to satisfy the expectation of a greedy boss. Accomplishing tasks within impossible deadline, with best-in-class quality and with little or no guidance from the ‘big guys’ is considered as a norm. Just in case you have been lucky to achieve the above, your boss is a genius who unleashes the performers for the organizational benefit.


Unlike the above list, my blog can not extend for infinity. Since I would have already quite a few eyebrows, it is better that I wrap the subject with a note of thanks to everyone who have provided with spicy inputs about their daily work.