Need of the hour - Mentor or Manager ?

The senior management of an organisation was asked to describe as to how they perceived their role if the organisation were to be a ship. Most of the people related to the role of a captain in a ship..The wise old CEO believed his role to be of Ship Designer - his job was to design it perfectly and empower the people thereafter to make the journey perfect. This subtlety in perception can make all the difference in the world !

'What is understood is more important than what is said' is the basic premise of this article. The objective of this article is to present the difference between the different styles of management FROM the perspective of person at the bottom of the corporate ladder rung. With my limited corporate experience I am not in a position to comment on any management styles or techniques, but I can certainly express the effects of these styles for the juniors in an organisation.

Reality or biased perception ?

Contrary to what most of us would like to believe, opinions are mostly preconceived notions and often tend to be an extension of the mental bias. Take for example bringing in a new plush sofa set into a CEO's cabin - the junior people perceive it as extravagance whereas it is a status symbol for others....the debate would be endless but the real bone of contention is seldom the article itself..It is the manner in which the whole thing was dealt with..In absence of any explicit communication, perceptions tend to be seen as reality and this unanticipated ruffling has widespread implications especially at the junior level...Speaking from an organisation's perspective - irrationally held beliefs are far more dangerous than rationally held lies...In the longer run, building up of such misconceptions is far more harmful for the organisation rather than the individuals.

Locking the devil or slaying the dragon ?

When faced with problem or a unrealistic deadline, it is very tempting to mistake the symptoms for the diseases itself. A deadline manager would stop nothing short of pulling the whole of intestine from the mouth to accomplish his deadline. On the other hand, a mentor would make this as a platform for the juniors to rise to the occasion by racking their brains and coming up with ingenious solutions. No ready-made syrups are forced down the throat thereby enabling them to grow both professionally and personally.

Escapism Vs Problem Solving ?

It is unpractical to expect the leaders to be omniscient and give a three point solutions to all the problems. However that does not mean that they are absolved from the responsibilities in situations with which they are not well versed with. The escapisms usually bear distinctive tone and are on the lines of ' Get that closed today..It is unacceptable that it has not been completed till now' or ' Confirm to me once it is done'..Whereas a mentor would appraise the situation ,if required learn from the team members and pool his expertise in arriving at the solution. 'Problem solving' approach isn't just a fancy phrase on a resume for them !

Proactive culture

Branding the proactive people as 'Smart Alec' trying to outdo others is the surest way to kill creativity. Discipline adherence is just a veil used by such Iron fists. Encouraging proactiveness is the forte of mentors - they are the ones who knows that there are many unexplored horizons and accomplishing such goals is much bigger than themselves. 'A lot more good can be done if one didn't care as to how gets the credit'.

Breeding future managers

Larry Bossidy (Chairman of Honeywell Intl and a former Senior GE executive) writes in his book 'Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done' that the biggest success of Jack Welch (the legendary GE CEO) is not the stellar financial performance of GE over the years. It is the numerous leaders Jack built in GE, who went on to become some of the most successful CEOs in various organisations including Larry himself. This is what sets apart Mentors from the monotonous Managers or leaders !! You can buy obedience but not respect.

The least I could do for my mentors is to dedicate this article to them. I shall always remain indebted for their valuable lessons.

Rat Race

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you still are a rat”. Few would disagree with this but the real problem is that most of us fail to realise that we too are a part of this rat race and it is not some distant phenomenon happening to ‘others’ as we would like to believe. It is a human tendency to instantly start preaching someone about the secrets of life the moment we see them in trouble. Edward De Bono, classified this tendency as “I told you so…” syndrome. We just assume that the other person was dumb enough to land up in this kind of situation. It hurts to question our infallibility or scrapes our ego to think we too must have done something similar in the recent past.

Boss – Having endured thousands of bashings in school, I have learnt that some 70 % of earth is covered with water…I guess a better statistics to learn is that around 70 % of the working population are surrounded with their bosses…Like it or not, most of us work just to ensure that our boss doesn’t get a chance of saying “You didn’t do this even though I had clearly to do it…blah blah…...” It is another matter that the so called “clearly” is a tiny thought in his miniscule brain and it never came out of it…..Just do whatever has been told and you could steer away from trouble….People are known to have spent some 30 years doing the same job on the same desk….

Relatives – This class of people are almost uniquely identifible by their interferring and vociferous behaviour. Your father might be thinking of a relative as a person who is nothing short of a saint, but somehow you clearly see him as the incarnation of devil or the devil himself. It is really annoying to watch such miscreants get away with all of their crooked deeds. Zillion of your whistleblowing efforts are discredited as misbehaviour. So in the end , you just let these guys have their ways and strengthen your apathy…Kill your proactiveness spirit and live life with/without or inspite of them…

Other nuisance makers who are insignficant but never disappear from ur face…..The servant maid, some pissed off waiter at a restaurant or a non-coperating coworker are some of the people in this category….Your lessons of ‘customer focus’ or “One should have a vision in life” all get thrown out of the window in confrontations with such people. You just can win over them no matter how hard you try. You adjust yourself to these ‘fly in the ointment’ guys and continue to live an oblivious life.


To sum up the above points, it is really hard for most of us to break our little ‘universe with a idea bubble’ and realise the real meaningful things in life. The examples of such ignorance can be numerous and more articulate as well. My point gets served even if one of this blog’s reader realises one of their vestigial activites.

Surrendering Dreams

" The reading of all good books is like conversation with the finest men of past centuries" said Descartes a few centuries ago. For me, it would have remained just another quote uttered by the so called "Greatest Thinkers" of modern history. A trip to the historic National Defence Academy(NDA) in pune changed it all and for the first time in my life I was able to understand the spirit behind a quote . The sprawling campus,right from its inception has always been a silent witness to the innumerable accounts of Bravery and sacrifices. Just like everyone else I was deeply moved with the discipline over there. However I was hoping that once I stepped back into the humdrum of the mundane world these thoughts would quickly pass away. But I guess weightage of the words like Duty, Courage, Honour and Valor is too substantial to be forgotten so easily . With these thoughts at the back of my mind, a phrase from a Peter Drucker's book struck me - Yes, it was about 'Surrendering dreams' to cope up in this harsh world. Instead of brushing the forfeiture of various childhood dreams under the carpet, I thought of writing an article on it.(...as you'll find out later in this blog...I wanted to be fighter pilot!!!)

After a conversation with a close friend during the trip, it dawned upon me that it was not just me who had been giving up the various fancy career dreams. Everybody chucks up some or other dream during their life. She further informed that is she had received a proper career guidance she might have been part of the defence service now. I could sense the heaviness in the tone and had an instantaneous urge to fire away some useful career guidance tip, but the honest fact is that I barely knew any. However I know a golden mantra imparted to me by my brother about Engineering " All is well that ends"....I will elaborate that for clarity - "Cut the crap, finish the job and get the hell out of there"...No need of bells and whistles !!!!

• ASTRONAUT : Invariably, all kids dream of becoming a Astronaut at least once. The sheer thought of walking in the space and being able to see the whole of universe at once is mind boggling. On top of it, the cartoons make you believe that it is just a matter of finding a suitable rocket to get into space and once you are bored up there, just come back !!! Forget space, these days I barely have time to take a look at the sky in the night. It is only during power cuts that I get to realise that there is something called as "moonlight".
• MOVIE STAR or CRICKET STAR : It is cliche to say that in our country, movie stars and cricketers are treated as demi gods.Everybody wishes to have a super luxurious life like them.It requires no explicit mention that we idolise them and tend to imitate them in our own little way.
• BILLIONAIRE : Again most of the kids dream of becoming a Billionaire...Why ?? It just sounds cool...If u have money, you could buy the biggest toy, buckets of chocolates, biggest car, biggest house or any other luxury present in this world...or the whole world itself !!!! For some people, this dream does not really go away.....Okay, I am talking bou myself....Having being pounded numerous times with cross arguments on this topic for years now, I have recently conceded some ground...The cross arguments usually go like this "RAVI....zindagi mein paisa hi sab kuch nahi hota...sacha pyar aur rishton se badkhar kuch nahi hota...paisa to haath ka mael hai....yeh bat jaldi se samaj lo...nahi to zindagi mein bahut pachtana padega"...So now I attach equal importance to Paisa and "Sacha pyar & Rishte" :))))
• DEFENCE PERSONNEL : In this digital age, the media yields tremendous power. Just like other kids, my perception of Defence Personnel is heavily influenced by the movies and television series. For a really long long time I related patriotism with Sunny Deol screaming his lungs out in the movie "Border". ..Airforce was nothing more than Tom Cruise wearing the sexy jacket ,riding the fast planes and being a heartthrob. (I admit that I still want to have such a jacket and ride a F-16 and bomb few places) ....After watching them who does not want to be in the defence services ?? Talking about non cinematic influences, the respect the faujis receive in society and the fact that the serve the country in the true meaning is really inspiring...But somehow while choosing a career path, most of us tend to dodge this profession.....I have intention to judge whether such bypassing is right or wrong...I am not qualified enough to comment on that aspect...I am just serving the topic on a platter,,,,people can decide for themselves.
• ENGINEER/DOCTOR/LAWYER :- It is not as if my engineering boat had reached its shore in one single piece entirely under my command, that I can start sermonising people on how to choose a line of career. At best, i was praying that I get a life jacket and some emergency boat pick me up if were to be jettisoned suddenly . Even though the aforementioned point raises question on my credibility to write on this section, i do have a strong point to make here, which is practically very relevant. In southern India, it has been my personal observation that majority of the parents coerce their children to take up these "foolproof" professions without really giving a thought about the inclination of the child. These traditional careers are time tested and are most certainly to provide good salaried jobs. The choosing of these jobs is equated to the hindu concept of "Dharma" and therefore leave little choice for the kids to select their area of interest. Newspapers are abound with cases of suicide just because some one was not able to make into these 3 careers.

In addition to the above, there are numerous dream we give up...Maybe they are unrealistic or it is just that we lack the tenacity to persevere...Another point to be noted is that I have purposefully excluded the case of people who had ta specific career orientation right from their childhood and who later really converted their dreams into reality. I am not one of them so have no clue how their thoughts are. In a nutshell - the inconvenient truth is that as we advance in life, we learn the limits of our abilities !!!

For those of you who are wondering as to how the above image is related to this blog..try tracing me near the front end of the ship reading a concrete block...Yep, I am the insignificant one.....

How Men screw up romance !

For those who are offended by the photo attached, please accept my sincere apologies. No other photo was as befitting to the topic as this one, so after careful consideration I used it. Look beyond the obscenity in it and you will find a subtle but a meaningful thought in it.

To separate the grain from the chaff, a method known as “The silent treatment” is used in some job interviews. The interviewer fires an awkward question at you…you somehow answer it….instead of proceeding further he stares at you in horrifying silence for few seconds…At this point of time, many people tend to get uneasy and blabber all the nonsense just to fill the void…One of my ‘gyan guru’ terms this kind of unwarranted chatter as ‘verbal diarrhea’. Similar to the above, many people screw up their romance/date/ or any private moments. As a matter of fact, all of us have numerous instances to cite wherein we messed up a simple and straight forward situation and are now embarrassed to speak about it. Instead of burying it under the carpet, I thought to write on this topic. Some of the citations are first handed experienced while other are inspired from the mishaps of close buddies and other acquaintances. Someone had pointed that I was writing lengthy blogs, so I have kept this one as small as possible.
Perhaps Moses was paid well, so he gave ten commandments …I am going with only five considering what I get paid (Oh dear..itna paisa mein itnaich milega !!!)

Let the lady do the talking – I’ll keep the feminist issues and other human behavioral aspects aside and come direct to the point. Usually, ladies have a strong opinion about things and they don’t restrain themselves from sharing it. Though rare, if she happens to be intellectual and educated one, then it is really wise to shut up and listen to her. Even an occasional sprinkling of profane words would feel like drops of honey. Just imagine if it would sound interesting if you start telling her you not taking bath for two days. Obviously not, so let her do the talking.

No matter what, never confess your old crimes – ‘Honesty pays, but being pragmatic pays better’. Just because she happens to touch some emotional chord, doesn’t mean that you have wake up your consciousness ….get a fit of confession and dig up all of your old crimes. Just the mere citations do not make you repentant…Bottom line is that you end up admitting being a crook …Who the hell wants to go out with a crook….does it make any sense ???

Never confess your illness – Similar to the urge of confessing crimes, this one is also to be avoided. Maybe you are being genuine but really who is interested in your stinky list of medical records... Except for making you look ‘sick’ this doesn’t serve any other purpose….

Never use the words ‘baap’ and ‘daru’ – Everybody has their set of favorite slang words but that doesn’t mean that you start preaching them everywhere around. You risk making the other person very uncomfortable if you can’t come out of rustic tone. ‘Be a roman when you are in rome’….

Never belittle the people around you – Just because you have a deep desire to empty a loaded Kafelnikov (AK 47) onto some of the people in your life, it does not mean that you start spitting venom around. The diplomatic way of presenting this as a mere ‘difference of opinion’ does go a long way as a maintaining your reputation.

I will borrow the words of my other ‘gyan guru’ to conclude the blog. The about tips are not about lying ….it is just being economical with the truth.

The fear of losing your job.

The unexpected lethal punch

Your boss or the HR dept calls you on your landline extension instead of the regular call to the mobile and asks you to come n see them immediately. A cold shiver runs across your spine...Would you care this time to carry a pen and a notepad ? You scramble a few reasons for which they would have called you ,even though none is really good enough. After taking that millions of tiny heavy steps, you finally reach the conference/meeting room. You are signalled to wait inside the room. You can see your pulses slowing down and the hands becoming cold with mild sweat. Then after spending some terrifying silent moments alone, some people show up with neat white envelopes with your name written on it. They break the bitter news wrapped up with the sweetest of the words , essentially conveying that your services are no longer required for the organisation. It is only a matter of few seconds before you are lost in a private storm of thoughts and are off to a different galaxy in your mind.. A million things flash up in your head as if you were surfing TV channels in a mute mode....Meanwhile the people in front of you are clarifying that this layoff is not at tall related to your performance and it is due to the economic slowdown..You see them moving their lips and hands moving frantically but somehow you are no longer able to hear what they were saying.... Before you realise what happened, you would have involuntary stepped out of the room holding most the dreaded page of your life. What is the first thing you do after coming out of the room ? Break the news to your anxious colleague OR shutdown your system n start emptying your desk OR call up your family and inform them OR find a lonely place n try to breathe some air before you do anything. It matters little what you do at that point of time...

The Concussion

The next 15 minutes pass by as if you were in a coffin ....you barely know what is happening around you.....Then slowly the realisations starts creeping in...The exact words would differ but this is how they would roughly roll out....Oh my god, I have been fired !!! Yes it is me...It is real and it is happening....Have I just been slapped and told that I am unimportant and disposable from the organisation point of view...I guess that means that I am not getting the full salary of this month, so forget the next month's pay cheque....How the hell do i pay those credit card bills ???.....How big is this layoff thing ? Is it just me or a couple of more in the firing line..Oh man, Now I am laid off employee....I cant believe that I am now one of the the laid off employee those news channels keep talking about.....It would be perfectly understandable if at this point of time, one would have delved into a lengthy profane 'wordlist' ranging from words with 4 alphabets to 10-12...The ubiquitous 'F' word with it's creative suffixes and prefixes should have appeared a million times during the above monologue.

The Convulsions
By now, You are no longer short of breath but have the suffocating feeling...Something is choking up in your entire body.... This uneasy stage is wherein you feel as if you had been pelted with hundred hammers- all at once !!!. Your bank payments, house rent , those repairs, EMIs etc etc...For a normal sane person, the thought of robbing a bank to meet the above payments should come at least for a moment. It would not be not totally inappropriate if the thought lasts a bit longer. For the first time since the disaster started you stand up and scan around....It quickly dawns upon you that things have changed forever - irrevocably. The cosy places of yesterday now seem like slaughterhouses....Even though you would like to pity upon the ignorant people who are having a laugh , you really can not. You just don't want the messenger of bad news..Moreover, you don't have the courage to walk into the crowd. To save face, you make a unnoticed exit and abscond into a lonely place.

How do I face them now ?
Everyone has at least one person in their life who has always bullied you and you hated them for it. More than anything else, what stresses your mind is the thought of how to react when these people come to know of your premature dismissal.

This person has always prophesied that you epitomise failure. In all the previous instances, you were able to somehow dodge these doomsayers. But this time, it is not easy as the magnitude of this is totally different. What if he utters his opinions in public...Provided that we are utmost honest ,then this is how our first reactions would be....(The description of the slow motion is inspired from the movie 300)-.... Stare the person in the eyes by standing firm in front of him for two minutes...Gently turn your torso around 90 degrees towards the back with your arm raised...form a stone hardened first by closing your fingers.....Make a deadly mix of your hatred,anger, frustration and pump this energy into your fist...The fist of your life.....Then with the speed of a samurai sword swoop down on the Guy's cheek with ground shattering force....This should immediately register a crack in his jaws and send the waves up his skull.....Even when he falls on the ground, the shock waves should stay abuzz in his ears..... Not the ideal solution but definitely a soul satisfying one !!!

Some ambiguity might arise on the intention behind this blog. I categorically wish to clarify that it is neither to preach any precautionary measures nor to forewarn people about the repercussions of economic slowdown. To upgrade my creative spirit , i have decided to take challenging topics head on henceforth. The complexity is further compounded by the fact that many a times these topics are considered a taboo to be discussed so openly. Undoubtedly, i have borrowed the basic framework of the article from friends and acquaintances and used it as a 'hypothetical' situation. I was lucky to have escaped unscathed after citing real people's names in my previous blog. This time however I shall respect people's right to anonymity and use a more generic tone.

अजीब दास्ताँ है यह..कहाँ शुरू ..कहाँ ख़तम...

The credits for the topic of this particular blog goes to the new found readers of my blog in the office , Anurag and Neelam. Unlike the previous blogs which were more of a monologue from my end, everyone would have some or other point of view to share in this one.

After some recent dramatic events, i was forced to think about the strong influence a few people build over others. This 'armtwisting' mechanism has lots of euphemisms in our society - Well wishers / Respected Elders / Seniors etc. The influence ranges from receiving genuine advices to the complete subjugation to somebody' wishes. My usage of the words 'somebody' n 'others' are not restricted to parents but are liberally extended to people like elder siblings, teachers/bosses and 'all' of the useless relatives.

Let me start the topic with one end of spectrum, i.e people who have completely surrendered to the demands of others. This usually happens with the youngest member of a family or who is weak in education. They are either showered with unsolicited advices on 'how to improve' or decisions are simply thrusted down their throat without even asking them even once. Even a small sign of reluctance on the above and they are drowned in the ocean of 'free ka gyan' without an iota of mercy . The dictionary term for the condition of such people is 'civil death'. Anurag, my childhood friend was all set to come down to pune and join the IT industry. Just before boarding the bus, his brother in law passed an emergency decree that he should do an MBA in marketing and nullified all his plans. I fail to see exactly how he has acquired the 'power of attorney' to pass judgements on somebody else's life and feel that this is just short of dictatorship, but i leave it open as there multiple angles to see the same thing.

Now i delve into the opposite end of the spectrum i.e people who have no respect/ attachment for the people they are supposed to have. This usually happens with people who break the shackles after years of 'bearing' the torture. This trait is also found in people who have always lived an independent live and are ready to die fighting for what they believe in. It would not make much of a difference if their ears stopped functioning suddenly, as they don't use it much anyways for listening what people have to say. These 'self centered' people see things as if they were centre of the universe and everything else is revolving around them.

The first example i have to cite is of my distant cousin - Sharat. As long as I can remember, he has been waging a war with his father. (I fail to understand why he feels proud to have done his M E from Paris ; after all it is favorite honeymoon destination and renowned for fashion industry rather than technical field.) Anyways,he recently married a widow with two kids in spite of earsplitting opposition from his parents. I have no comments to make on the widow or her life. My focus is on the fact that he publicises this marriage to all relatives just to get even with his parents who 'wronged' him during his childhood.



Then there are people like me !! Blaise Pascal (Ya, the same rogue whose theories gave us tough time during schooling) said " The eternal silence of these infinite spaces fills me with dread." while referring to universe. Stretching my 'poetic license' i have revamped it to 'The eternal dumbness of the infinite people around me fills me with anger, irritation and murderous instincts'. This category of people are very flexible, and often drift from one shore to another just because they are pushed. 'Live and let live' is their simple motto and yet people fail to appreciate that. Some people start bugging you so much that you give them what they want and get the hell out from there. The following phrases are self explanatory for this set of people ' Dimaag ka dahi mat karo' , 'Maatha pacchi nahi karne ke' , 'Bheje ko chamach se khana band karo' or simply 'paka mat...jo chahiye le lo aur jaan chodo'. These people are often urged to stand up for what is morally correct or righteous. "Char din ki to zindagi hai...ab isme right kya wrong kya"...."khao pio aur khush raho...kya zarurat hai mahatami gandhi ya mother Teresa banne ki"

The above classifications are at a macro level and further drilling down is certainly possible. However, that would be looking at the finger when pointed towards the moon. Each individual has to take a call as to what extent it is fair enough to let people interfere in your life.......be it parents, teachers or anyone for that matter. For people like me (who are devoid of morals and ethics) it pays to swim along the tide most of the times...and when limits are breached, just get out of the water and walk your way on the damn shore...After all, who said that it was necessary to stay in the water... Who asks whether the enemy was defeated by strategy or valor or cheating ?